


Bee Calm

by thecoolshoeshine



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, i wrote this in an hour pls dont judge too seriously, its literally a shitpost, sollux bee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 13:11:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7464609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecoolshoeshine/pseuds/thecoolshoeshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angry Sollux Bee feeds Angry Karkat mind honey. It's literally a shitpost end me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bee Calm

Preparing mind honey for consumption is not that hard to do except that you are now a small buzzing bee. As troll!Sollux, you could’ve gone through the whole process in less than an hour. But with only the power of a small apian, you will have to take more time than any living creature should to make any sort of edible concoction, nonetheless one you can now produce yourself. You start wondering how intimate Karkat would interpret the action you’re about to do and your face turns yellow.

But it’s not your fault he wants a taste. The Crab Troll is just curious like that, a fact which makes you want to grit your miniature teeth and scream as you drag your tiny arms and legs across your own Captor-patented Wax Sifter™. In the best case scenario, you would’ve had the help of the rest of your hives with production work but unfortunately for you, the bees you’ve been cultivating are not as smart as you make them out to be. You become even angrier still. This all could’ve been avoided if you just didn’t make that one bee joke in the middle of your conversation earlier today. Dropping your crush on him could’ve also helped…

Kismesissitude is terrible and needs to die.

The doorbell rings and you’ve only gotten through half the honey you wanted to make. At this point it’d be more productive to shove the stirring spoon up your nook than to continue trying to make more. You sigh and yell at him to come on in. You are ready to be squashed and have your remains mixed in with the viscous, yellow, psiionic fluid you’re about to spoon-feed him. You smile widely at that thought. Too widely. It seems Karkat also had similar ideas.  
“HELLO CAPTOR. I’M READY TO DIE NOW.” he says in his normal, relaxed, calm and composed tone of voice. The truth is that you have no idea how this drink is going to affect him. Your lusus becomes incredibly smart upon imbibing it but that effect does not usually last very long. You are painfully aware of how you react when you swallow it and would not like to think about that right now as you are now legitimately and not just memetically depressed-happy and you need to be happy if you want the results of your toil to be worth the effort. Come to think of it, if he does get seriously hurt that would still please you as he is an annoying fuckass who deserves being injured and now you are angry again. Horray for you.

“Ju2t siit down and let u5 get thii5 over with.” you grunt back at him. You grap an almost microscopically small spoon and scoop some of the finished honey onto it. You feel like a lusus about to introduce their wiggler to the concept of eating. It’s humiliating and yet, no ashen romance would be complete without moments that make the two kismesis want to stab each other’s eyes out so you continue anyway. You watch as Vantas takes a seat in your computer chair and gives you his standard Karkat Frown™. You hold the spoon in your itsy-bitsy limb-thingy and prepare for the worst.

“TIME TO EAT UP. FEED ME BEEDAD, KARK-Y IS HUNGRY.” Karkat smugly shouts. He opens his mouth wide, wider than he should be though that may just be to hide the pools of blood collecting in his cheeks. You wonder how yellow your face looks about now. You wonder if that’s out of embarrassment or out of true black feelings. Whatever. You can’t deal with this now. You buzz right on up to this insufferable pricks mouth and stare inside, secretly looking around to see if he had stepped on any of your games before sitting down. With all the games in place, you do the honors and pour the spoon’s contents right onto the mutant-blood’s tongue.

“Eat my honey KK. You’re welcome iin advance.”

Karkat swallows the mixture almost too snarkily for his own good and licks all the leftovers from his lips. Really, he spends quite an uncomfortable amount of time licking his lips. You bet it’s because he knows such close contact makes you uncomfortable. There’s no way it can’t not be that. Man, fuck Karkat. Finally though, he settles down and puts his hand over his mouth, pensively. You await what will probably be a glowing, 5-star review of your avian food product.

“…WELL. IT’S NOT THE WORST THING I’VE EVER EATEN.”

“You don’t feel any different than before you ate it?”

“NO NOT PARTICULARLY. THOUGH NOW I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO GET UP AND MOVE AROUND A BIT MORE. THIS CHAIRISUNCOMFORTABLEOHMY GO G WATCHOUT.”

The Cancer troll jumps out of the chair and hurls himself in your direction. It seems the mind honey gave him a burst of energy and unbeknownst to most trolls, when Karkat is energized, he is very fast. So fast he can jump out of a chair and crush your games underneath with his feet. He’s so fast he can trip on one and land directly in your hive network crushing the bees in there and accidentally swallowing more mind honey.

Note to self: never do kismesissitude ever again.


End file.
